End of an era.
Everything is falling apart yet coming together at the same time. These eleven words have been playing in my mind like a cassette playing the same tune over and over again.
Life is ever-changing. You never know what you might find when you turn a corner. And the road I took entering into October was full of surprises and I had no idea what it had in store for me.
It is time to say goodbye to my haven. I have to leave my childhood home, the place I have spent the last ten years in. Although I am excited to enter a new world of my own (in the form of my own room), I have to say goodbye to the one I currently live in and I am most certain that it isn’t going to be easy so I can’t help but feel bittersweet.
I remember stealing badaam (almonds) from the upstairs fridge with the other two musketeers and I remember being scared while watching Scooby Doo even though I knew that at the end of the episode, a person would be under the mask. I remember sliding down the rails on the stoep and finding scooters in the upstairs hallway from my grandparents on the 10th of Muharram many years ago. I remember eating in the dining room like the Knights of the Round Table and entertaining esteemed guests in our formal living area. I remember my grandfather giving me R1 or R2 every morning of my first year of school and my grandmother making me a bowl of original Pronutro for breakfast. I remember my mom and grandma bathing my little baby brother (who’s not so little these days) and my aunt coming to my first Sports Day because my mom had to stay home with the very same baby brother who was too little to come with. I remember finding out that my aunt was expecting and coming home to look at her with the wondering and excited eyes of a five year old. I remember the simplicity of life ten years ago. My memories are not what I’m scared of losing because I know that they will always remain with me.
I am scared of losing my life the way I know it because I know with leaving comes change.
I am scared that approximately three hundred and sixty five days from now, I will be writing finals and leaving my school and the safety net which surrounds the familiarity around me.
I am scared of life and how easily it can be changed. Houses, schools, people, things. I mean, I will easily trade in my iPhone 5S for an iPhone 7 any day. I am going to leave my high school and enter the great big world of tertiary education. I do not know the same people I knew five years ago and I know that in five years I will not know the same people I know now.
However, I intend to embrace the fear of the uncertainty and unfamiliarity. Because, like the earth flourishes and breathes whole and fully again after rain, so will I after change.
It may be the end of this era but it is also the start of a new one.